Baseline: Youth Communication Has Drastically Changed
You can blame it on technology if you want.
You can blame it on parenting if you want.
You can blame it on schools if you want.
I guess it really doesn’t matter who we blame it on. The fact is, the quality of Communication among our youngest generation has dramatically declined.
Do any of the following scenarios sound familiar?
You try to strike up a conversation with a high schooler and they barely look at you. It’s a very awkward situation much like pulling teeth and you kind of feel like you’re fishing for a topic that might click with them, while at the same time, wishing you had never even made the attempt.
Or..
You overhear a conversation between two teenagers and the whole time either one or both of them is on their phone. Eye contact barely happens. Neither one speaks with any inflection in their voice. You wonder if there is any real interest in the interaction.
Or, let’s look in an American classroom…
After five long weeks of working hard on a project, it’s time to present. The student has no energy and zero passion to show off how awesome their project really is. Their posture lacks confidence and they don’t make eye contact with the audience. They mumble as they read a stack of index cards. They just want to get it over with. You might be thinking, “Well, they are nervous. Public speaking is scary.” Agreed, but even the most confident and energetic kids get up and give the same bland presentation. It’s not because they’re nervous. They simply don’t know HOW to communicate.
Yes, there are exceptions to this picture I am painting. There are some amazing young communicators in the US right now. But they are a minority, prodigies in the art of communication, because we are simply not teaching this skill to our students.
Root Problem: Our Children Don’t Value Communication
Our children communicate so differently than how the workforce and other generations operate. Their struggle is apparent and that opens the door for anyone wanting to set themselves apart. The future is bright for people who can truly communicate. They are equipped to display an external WOW factor vs just looking good on paper. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people around us who are highly skilled, but the world hasn’t noticed them. Why? They can’t show it.
Let’s teach our kids how to show their skills and talents. Let’s get intentional with preparing them for success.
So, how do we teach communication?
It all starts with raising the expectations. We must stop selling the youth of America short. We owe them the opportunity to be amazing. No longer can we simply think, “This generation is awful at communicating” and then go on with our day.
We’ve identified the problem, now let’s address it!
We have to teach our students how to communicate and also model its powerful purpose. We have to encourage them to develop and practice their communication skills. We have to instill in them the belief that communication is the golden ticket to success. In order to make progress, we have to first make our students comprehend the value of great communication skills. In the first post of this series, SOMETHING’S MISSING, I discuss how kids are not equipped with the appropriate skills for the 21st century world. Communication is high on that list of missing skills.
Today’s Focus: What Taking Action Looks Like
Students really struggle with social interactions, both with peers and adults. So let’s start there. Kids come home from school every day and are asked by their parents, “How was school today?” Their response is, “good” and they walk on by. That is a teachable moment. We need to talk to kids and teach them how interactions are supposed to take place. I know that sounds crazy, but it needs to happen. Teach them to respond with eye contact and a follow up question. For example, “My day went well, Mom. How was your day?” Now we have a solid answer and the kid is actually showing interest in someone other than himself. That is a lesson in communication!
We can weave these lessons into the school day, too. Greet kids at the door. Teach them to give you eye contact when you speak to them. Teach them a firm handshake. Model an energetic tone and tell them you expect the same. Interact with your students all day in a social manner. This approach will not only model and instill communication skills, but it will help the student build a bond and connection with you, and thus, they will experience the value of communication
By doing these simple things, we’ve started to build a system of teaching communication. Let’s continue with that growth. Let’s add some body language to the repertoire.
Poor posture, hung head, fidgeting, and turning their back to the group sends the message that they are uninterested, uncertain, and uncomfortable. We can teach children positive body language just as we teach dance moves or techniques of a sport. And just like anything involving muscle memory, practice, and repetition is key. Positive body language blended with energetic inflection and confidence is the perfect recipe for WOW moments in the presentation world. In the workforce, overall success is strongly dictated by how a person presents them self and the impression they leave on others. We have to intentionally instill this skill set. In a competitive world, it is extremely valuable.
Ok, now we’re getting somewhere. Let’s take it to another level.
As often as possible, kids need to practice communication skills through presentations. I know this may not be a popular thing to say, but we have to be careful with how we use technology in the classroom. There are so many tools within technology that kids use when collaborating and presenting information. However, some of those tools make it so no verbal communication ever needs to take place. We are wasting that communication growth opportunity. Start small and grow. If kids can develop communication one-on-one and feel comfortable in that setting, then they can go on to communicating in groups. As their confidence grows and they’re doing many presentations within those groups, then we can take them to the next level. Now they’re ready to show off their new found confidence and communication skills in front of a whole class or a whole audience. This only happens if we intentionally practice it at a micro level and work our way up to the big picture.
Systemic Solution: The Communication Continuum
One teacher, in one classroom, trying to teach his 25 students how to communicate over the course of one year, is not going to solve this problem. At all levels of the educational process, we need to get intentional with teaching communication skills. There needs to be a Communication Continuum developed from kindergarten through 12th grade that is actually monitored and enforced by teachers and administrators. As teachers, we’re all in this together, working toward the same goal. We need to be on the same track as we pass the torch from one year to the next.
There are amazing kids sitting in classrooms all over the country. They have the potential and talents to truly leave their mark on this world. Sadly, many will fly under the radar and we will never know of their greatness. We have to stop sending them out there without the ability to shine. We have to equip our kids with solid communication skills. Allow them to show the world how awesome they are. One communication at a time.
I would love to hear your beliefs and feedback pertaining to this post. Go back and check out my post on CONFIDENCE as well. I greatly value all opinions and arguments. Engage in the comments and help continue this discussion. I look forward to what you all have to say.
I will see you next week for our Tuesday’s with Tal post on the next C…
Shelley says
Yes to all of this! I love your idea of a Communication Continuum as part of a K-12 curriculum. As a parent, I know I need to do a better job modeling good communication skills with my kids. Mostly, I need to unplug more often when we’re all together.
Here’s a question for you: How have you noticed parent/teacher communication changing over the years? What can we parents do to improve it?
Tal says
Wow. That is a big question!!
I have been teaching for 18 years and I can say without a doubt, it has changed dramatically. First from a trust standpoint. Somewhere along the line, parents have stopped trusting teachers and teachers have become too reluctant to reach out to parents. It used to be that when a teacher informed you of a child’s behavior or academic issue, the response was for the parent to acknowledge the issue and work together towards a solution. Now, it is different. Now, parents seem to come in or respond on the defensive and feel that the teacher is wrong or misinterpreting the issue. This leads to a hesitancy over time for our teachers to wanna reach out to parents. There are, of course, exceptions to my blanket statements.
Secondly, there is a lack of involvement in many cases. I do not mean that as a jab at parents. Parents have just become so much more busy. It seems like our information that we send home and the emails we send often go unread or unnoticed. This is simply because parents have way too much going on in their lives and we send way too much “stuff” home. The demand and pressures that families face have put a strain on teacher communications.
Personally, I love my relationship with nearly all my parents. Even the challenging ones allow for me to reflect and grow. I think if we all took a step back when there was an issue and reminded ourselves that we ALL love these kids and wanna protect them and see them soar one day, we would be better off. Too many assumptions are being made and too many emotional emails or calls are being made. Slow down, reflect, love, and the connect.